Two people in love with each other is the most beautiful relationship. It is the point where they care for each other and are technically fully involved in each other’s lives. In such relationships jealousy issues and presence of a little bit of insecurity seems quite common and perhaps natural for the human mind. But when this possessiveness and care reaches the extremes, complications in the relationship start to arise. Love eventually turns to obsession which makes the relationship nothing less than a restriction on freedom.
I recently met an old college friend, who had started dating someone in college then. They eventually broke up as their relationship reached a level of complete intolerance. The guy’s answer to the “Why did you guys break up” question went something like this: “Everything was going good in the beginning. But eventually she started feeling jealous of my other friends. Initially I felt good that she cared about me but when she started spying on my phone calls and e-mails, it started getting weird. She wanted to know all the conversations I had with my friends. I had to actually give her a time-table of where I was at what time of the day. She restricted me from meeting some of my female friends and it was very annoying. She wanted my life to go her way- go where she wants me to go, meet whom she wants me to meet and be with her 24/7. It became suffocating and I couldn’t handle it anymore.”
The relationship became a burden. He had to put in efforts to keep things going and her obsession somewhere took over her love. Valuable relationships end because people fail to realise the thin line between love and obsession. When love reaches a phase where the urge to possess and control takes over a person, the need to have a healthy conversation and talk about the issues in the relationship arises. This has become so common these days, what with such extreme state of mind and behaviour leading to violence and trauma. If you ever reach such a point, there are ways to cope with it, overcome it and perhaps evolve into a better relationship. Experts in couple’s therapy / relationship issues work with you over a plan to figure out the issues basis your life situation.
May just help a relationship from breaking or avoid any violent and traumatic actions.
By Preksha Goyal – beautifully imperfect